The past two months of my life have been absolutely crazy.  I have flown across the county twice, once with Deklan and once without,  Nate spent a week in Texas,  I painted and decorated our bathroom, and have been dealing with the hardest trial I never expected.

In March, Deklan and I flew home to Idaho for a two week visit. We love going home, but the flight is always quit an experience with a toddler on your lap. It is like Sacrament meeting times 4 hours. A few members of my family didn't know I was coming, so when I flew into SLC my nieces, Melia and Lani were there to meet me and had no idea I was coming.  After the shock wore off, they were excited to see Deklan and I. We also got to surprise Grandma B for her birthday.  We planned to have a birthday party for Deklan, Morgan and Grandma B while I was there.

The Elmo cupcakes we made for the birthday party 

Morgan and his family weren't able to make it because there little baby girl made an extra early appearance, but the birthday party was fun and Deklan enjoyed getting to spend time with his cousins.  Little Kenadee decided she was tired of waiting, and made her appearance 8 weeks early, which worked out perfectly, with our trip home. I got to spoil her and spent some time (not enough) holding and snuggling her and her big brother Shade.

Big Brother-Shader bug

Baby Sis-  Kenadee Elizabeth 

Nana gave Deklan his first real hair cut while we were there also.

Cool new spikes! Thanks Nana

  Some of my nieces came to spend the night at Nana and Papa's house, we had too much fun together. We had a mani-pedi party on the kitchen floor, complete with facial masques, a picnic at the park, and wiggle cart races (everyone needs a wiggle cart, they are a blast).

While my mom was working, we went and spent a little time with Grandma Jensen, before she flew out to South Dakota to help take care of Max, Nates's nephew who was having some health issues. We were bummed that we didn't get to spend much time with her, but we were able to spend time with Natalie and her cute boys, and briefly got to see Florecita and her girls.  Natalie was nice enough to take Deklan's one year photo's.  He is such a ham in some of the pics.

Deklan reading with Grandma Jensen

After two fun filled weeks, Deklan and I came back to sunny Florida to be with Nate who we missed horribly.  Just a week after we got home, Nate left for Texas for a week. He got a new assignment at work and is now doing some of the finances for a cattle ranch in Texas and one in Oklahoma as well.  While he was gone, I decided to paint the bathroom and make out quaint little abode a little more homey.  I was pleased with the results and Nate was very surprised when he got home. I didn't tell him I was doing it because we can never agree on a paint color, so I just did it and hoped for the best.  He likes it, I think.

Shortly after life was beginning to settle back in to some sort of normalcy, is when things started to get tough.  Poor little Kenadee, who was only 8 weeks old at the time, was sick.  It started out with a little cough on Saturday, and continued to get worse, very rapidly.  Kenadee spent 2 or 3 days in the hospital in Pocatello before she was flown to Primary Children's Hospital in SLC. Kenadee had contracted Pertussis/ Whooping Cough.  Little Miss Kenadee continued to fight and at some point even made progress. Wednesday evening, Kenadee underwent surgery to help relieve her body of some of the work that it needed to do in order to get better.  Kenadee was strong and continued to fight, but her little body just could do it anymore.  Kenadee returned home to live with Heavenly Father early Thursday morning, while in the arms of her sweet momma, Amber.

I have never felt so ill, angry, lonely, heartbroken and helpless as I did when my sweet husband pulled into the driveway that morning. I knew why he was there.  He had come to deliver this heart breaking news and be with me while I tried to wrap my head around it.  That is a feeling I will never forget.  Little Kenadee took a piece of my heart with her that day.  I longed for home and my family so badly that day, 2,500 miles seemed more like a million. All I wanted to do was be there for Morgan and Amber, even though there was nothing I could do to ease their pain or make things better, I wanted to be there.  I still regret not leaving for Idaho immediately.  It was a hard decision to make, but Nate and I decided it was best if I not take Deklan to Idaho with me, thus the reason I didn't leave sooner.  I flew to Idaho the following Monday and left Nate here with Deklan to be Mr. Mom.

Kenadee's viewing was on Wednesday evening and her funeral on Thursday, May 10th.  The services for Kenadee were absolutely beautiful, she was beautiful and so was the spirit that attended everyone those days.  My mom made Kenadee a beautiful dress, a dress fit for a queen. The services were showered with flowers and little reminders of how special this little girl was.  Amber's dad, gave a beautiful overview of Kenadee's life and then a wonderful friend of the family gave an amazing talk about our purpose here on earth. He gave tons of good advice and helped everyone understand a little better why this happened.  I remember him saying "in order to take the hurt out of death, you would have to take the love out of life".  It is so true, as much as I wanted the pain to be taken away from me and from the rest of those hurting, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for the opportunity to know and love little Kenadee.

You can't help but know that Kenadee was a special little spirit and how blessed we all have been to have her in our family.  Kenadee was special and she needed a special home to come to on earth, her mom and dad are wonderful people who love her very much. I pains me to watch them hurt, and long to hold their baby again. I hurts me to think that they will not be able to watch her grow and experience the joys of this life with her.  However, it is comforting to know that they will all be reunited some day and that she is waiting for them in the arms of our Savior.

I wish so badly that I could be closer to them and be able to help them when they need it.  I feel strongly that they need friendship and support right now and forever to help them with this trial, but I know that the ultimate comfort will come from the Savior as they seek after him.

Weeks have past since Little Kenadee became an angel, but the pain and sorrow are still very raw. I think about her each and every day.  I have thought a lot about where she is and why she left so soon.  I don't have all the answers to these questions, but I know that HE knows.  Having the knowledge that our Savior knows all things and cares for each of us has brought me comfort.

This experience has changed many things in my life. I hold my husband and my son a little tighter, and I try hard to remember what is really important and how fragile life really is.  I can't wait to see Little Kenadee again, and hope that I will be worthy to be in her presence, as I know she is in the presence of our Heavenly Father.

Birthday Boy

Deklan turned ONE on March 2nd.  I can't believe how fast the past year has gone and how much our little boy has grown.  Deklan started walking shortly before his first birthday. He jabbers a lot, but doesn't have any real words yet.  He has such a fun personality and loves to play.   Deklan loves loves loves balloons, so the night before his birthday I snuck in his room after he went to sleep and decorated his crib with balloons for him to find in the morning.

I tried my hand at cake decorating and made a Toy Story cake. It turned out pretty good and Deklan loved having his own little cake.

  We didn't have a big party since we don't have any family around, but even so the little boy got spoiled with presents.

Deklan's 1 Yr Stats:

Weight: 28.6 lbs  96%
Height 31 1/2 inches 87%

Our Crazy Little Man

Deklan is the funniest kid ever, he is constantly making Nate and I laugh.  Just recently he has started squinting.  We laughed at him one time and now he thinks it is super funny and does it all the time.  We tell him he is winking and he even winked for Grandma Jensen via Skype the other day.  I am not quick enough with the camera, so I will never get a picture of it.

Deklan is SUPER attached to the blanky that his nana made for him.  He loves to chew on it, suck on it and just plain have it in his mouth. I have to sneak it into the washing machine every couple of days so it doesn't get too yucky.  During the day while he is playing, he will stop dead in his tracks, crawl over to the crib and pull his blanket out, get his fix and then back to playing.  Here is a few pictures to prove how sacred this blanket is. I love that he loves it so much.

Deklan loves to read. He has a favorite book for a few weeks that he wants to read over and over and over and over (you parents out there, know what I mean) and then he finds a new favorite.  I love reading to him, it is the only snuggle time I get.   Right now he has 2 favorite books, "If You Give a Pig a Party" and "I Miss You Every Day".

Deklan was pouting because I wasn't reading to him 

In his hideout reading his book

He is so busy and is good at using the furniture to walk around.  He takes a few steps without help every once in a while, but isn't ready to be a full fledge walker just yet.  (While on the topic of feet, I should mention that I have searched high and low for a shoe to fit his fat wide little feet.  Finally, my mom came to the rescue with some super cute, extra extra wide sneakers she found on the internet.  Really, who has to special order shoes from the internet for their one year old???  Thank you Nana) Just today he wasn't wanting to sit in the cart while I was doing the grocery shopping and since we were at Sam's Club at the crack of dawn there weren't many people so I let him out of the cart to help me push.  You can imagine all the attention he got.

He is growing up so fast, I can't believe he is going to be ONE in just a few weeks. It honestly seems like just last month we were bringing him home from the hospital.  This morning I was driving behind the school bus and as it stopped to pick up the kids, I saw that one of the moms had walked her daughter to the bus, as her daughter headed toward the bus, the mom reached down and gave her a kiss on the forehead.  I got all emotional and teared up at the thought of having to put my little guy on the school bus someday.   After witnessing how fast the past year has gone, I know that those school days are coming all too quickly.

A few weekends ago, I begged Nate to take us on an adventure. We drove to Blue Springs State Park, which is about and hour and a half north of us.   It was a beautiful park right along the St. Johns river and between December and March, the manatees hang out here to keep warm. I was hoping to get really close to the manatees, but they stayed a fair distance from the shore. Luckily the water was clear enough that we could see them in the distance.   They may be a cool, interesting animal, but there is nothing pretty or graceful about them.    It was a great trip and we saw a lot of cool things. There was a playground in the park where we let Deklan play for a while.  It took a lot of coaxing to get him to go through this tunnel, but he finally did it.

Random Picture and Memory

It makes me sad that I am not a very good blogger, and that I am not writing down every little thing that we do, or milestone that Deklan has.  It also make me sad that I didn't start blogging sooner. I have been going through old pictures recently and the thought has crossed my mind that  these pictures need and explanation written for most of them.   So, I have decided to try to share random picture and memory on each of my blog post in an effort to record some memories and share some of our families craziness.  

My dad found these (I can't find an appropriate word to describe them) shirts in one of those mail order catalogs.   I believe (family correct me if I am wrong) that he originally bought the shirt for Erica, but mom talked him out of giving it to her, so he decided to order 2 more of them and he and Morgan and Rhett would use them as their lucky hunting shirts.  Bailee,Taybree and Kolbee pleased Grandpa by wearing them as pajamas during a weekend slumber party at Grandma and Grandpa's house. 

Orlando

A few weekends ago, we decided to make a day trip to Orlando to go exploring.    My only request was that we go see the temple. It is absolutely beautiful.  After we visited the temple we headed to the Florida Mall.  Nate wanted to go to the Apple store.  I am not sure why, it is just like all the other Apple stores, but I didn't argue because it highly unlikely for Nate to set foot in a mall without dragging him.   Inside the mall they had an M&M factory that was fun to visit.  Deklan loved all the colors and he especially liked the huge M&M's outside the mall.  While in Orlando we decided to check out Downtown Disney.  For those of you who haven't been there it is kind of like a free mini amusement park outside the big park.  There were a few small rides, a bunch of restaurants and a ton of Disney shops.  We had a blast just walking through all the shops and checking everything out.  The had a lego store with life-size characters made out of legos.  It was so fun to look at.    Nate and I are wondering how long we can convince our kids that Downtown Disney is actually "Disney World".

This sea monster was made completely out of Legos.

Nate loves Japanese food and so we searched out a nice Japanese restaurant to have dinner at before heading home.  It was a very nice restaurant. Deklan hadn't had a nap all day and refused to sit in his highchair.  Within the first 5 minutes he had pulled the tablecloths off the table and spilled Cherrios all over the floor. We were so embarrassed.  Then, he gaged on this tiny piece of wonton and puked all over the floor.  I am sure they were cursing us, but we couldn't understand them.  No doubt, they were happy to see us go. Next time we will choose a more family friendly restaurant.

We have a park right by our house, we go there at least once a day.  Deklan usually just plays on the swings but this time mom and dad got brave enough to let him go down the slide.  It is a short video clip, but you can see that he is enjoyed it.  Now he goes on the slide all the time.

  He loves to play "I am going to get you"  Usually he crawls away or hides behind the furniture, but when Nate came home from work this particular day, Deklan just stood there and screamed and let Nate get him.

For anyone with kids you know it is sometimes impossible to get you house cleaning done with a baby around.  Most days, this is what my kitchen looks like when I am finished (or think I am finished cleaning it). He is such a good little helper.

Deklan is an early riser, 6:oo most every morning.  The good thing about that is we can get out for our walk before it gets too warm.  Some mornings we even get to watch the sunrise. It is beautiful here on the ranch with the wide open space and the fog still hanging over the pastures. Most times there is cattle in the fields next to the road where we walk and Deklan yells at the cows as we walk past.

Living in the country has its perks like beautiful sunrises and sunsets and lots of silent time, but it also has lots of pesky creatures too.  This raccoon made himself at home on our our porch. He tore a giant hole in our screened porch to come in and explore.   I leave the stroller on our porch because I use it every morning.  I am grateful he didn't tear it to pieces.  

Nate had the chance this month to go bass fishing with his supervisor from work.  His boss told him the least amount of fish I have ever caught is 13.   Well what you see in the picture is what they caught.  I guess Nate must not be very good luck.   He enjoyed the fishing trip, so I guess that is all that matters.

We often go for Sunday evening drives around the ranch to look at all the wildlife.  We have gotten in bad habit of letting Deklan ride on our laps while we are driving on the dirt roads around our home. He loves to sit up front with us.   I can promise you this, he is not the only kid on the ranch who doesn't ride in a car seat.   Our our drive we saw two gators.  We were fairly close to them.  I still think they are super creepy and don't like the thoughts of them roaming around so close to where we live.